All About Donkeys: The Truth About Companionship and Care

How to have a happy and healthy donkey.

Donkey Care Basics

Donkeys are a real pleasure to have around.

They are personable, intelligent, affectionate, and full of character. Our donkeys are very much part of daily life here at Natural Horse NZ. They are happy, energised, playful, and often hilariously bold. They explore everything, start games, wind each other up, and make it very clear when they want attention or when something interests them. Once they trust you, their affection is genuine, and their personalities come through in ways that surprise people. They are relationship animals, bringing a lot of deep emotions to the herd and the humans around them.

But because they are so likeable, and because people mistake their hardiness for simplicity, donkeys are also some of the most misunderstood equines.

They are often bought as cute paddock pets, lawn mowers, or companions for a horse, and then left to cope with a life that doesn’t suit who they are.

The truth is, donkeys are highly social, cautious, emotionally complex, and deeply bonded to their own kind. When those needs are not met, the results can be quietly heartbreaking and sometimes dangerous.

This blog looks at a few of the most common challenges donkeys face, with a big focus on one that causes a lot of suffering: being kept alone.

The biggest misunderstanding: donkeys are herd animals, not solo equines.

A donkey on their own is not a happy donkey. They are wired for connection.

In the wild and in well kept domestic groups, donkeys form close bonds and rely on each other for safety, comfort, and emotional regulation. When people keep a single donkey without a donkey companion, they are asking that animal to live in a constant state of social deprivation.

Donkeys are herd animals. They are social by nature and instinctively stay close to each other for safety and comfort. In the wild, donkey herds are often matriarchal. Females usually remain with their mothers and family groups for life, building long term bonds that give the herd stability. Young males, on the other hand, are typically pushed out as they mature. That natural separation helps prevent inbreeding and reduces conflict within the core family group.

That wild structure matters, because it shows how deeply donkeys are designed to live with their own kind. Their social bonds are not casual or optional. Companionship is part of their biology, and when we keep a donkey alone we are going directly against the way they evolved to survive and feel safe.

What that can look like:

1. Loud, persistent braying, especially when humans leave

2. Hyper attachment to a horse, goat, or person, often turning into anxiety when separated

3. Depression, withdrawal, loss of appetite, or a flat expression

4. Fence walking, pacing, or other repetitive stress behaviours

5. Rising aggression or defensiveness because they feel unsafe alone

Yes, some donkeys seem fine at first on their own, but because they are stoic by nature, they often mask stress until it spills over.

But loneliness is still loneliness even if it is quiet.

We recommend that for anyone who wants a donkey, they should plan for at least two. Ideally a bonded pair or a small group.

Please be aware that a horse is not a replacement for another donkey. Goats or sheep are not a replacement. People are not a replacement. Only another donkey is the real deal and when they are in pairs or of two or more, only they will fulfil a donkeys true emotional needs.

Donkeys communicate differently and get wrongly labelled as stubborn

Donkeys are cautious thinkers. They stop and assess. They do not rush into things just because a human says so. That is not stubbornness. It is survival intelligence.

A donkey that refuses to cross water, enter a float, or walk past a scary object is doing what nature designed them to do: evaluate risk before acting. Horses flee first and think later.

Donkeys think first and move later. When humans interpret donkey caution as disobedience, they often respond with pressure, punishment, or force. That breaks trust fast. Donkeys remember unfair treatment for a long time, and once they lose faith in a handler, rebuilding the relationship takes patience and consistency.

The better approach is calm guidance, time to process, and reward based learning. When donkeys feel safe, they are willing partners.

Their bodies are different too, and that affects their health

Because donkeys look hardy, people assume they can cope with anything. In reality, their metabolism is extremely thrifty and they can live off the smell of an oily rag. They are built for sparse, fibrous diets, so our New Zealand pasture can harm them quickly.

Common health challenges tied to misunderstanding:

1. Obesity from pasture or high sugar feed

2. Laminitis that often develops quietly until it becomes severe

3. Hyperlipaemia, a dangerous fat metabolism crisis triggered by stress or not eating

4. Dental issues that go unnoticed because they do not show pain clearly

5. Hoof neglect, especially in donkeys that are not handled regularly

6. High sensitivity to Mycotoxins if not protected with a daily detox

Donkeys need careful pasture management and a diet more in keeping with low sugar, high fibre forage like straw and hay. They also need daily observation, because they hide discomfort far better than most people realise, plus regular hoof care.

But grass management is not just a donkey problem, it is an equine problem! especially here in New Zealand with our idyllic grass growing climate .

Whilst it can be tempting to say donkeys need more management than horses, this misses the real point. As to prevent illness and conditions such as Laminitis,ALL equines need pasture management. Modern pasture is rich, fast growing, and high in sugars. That is unnatural for every equine body, not just for donkeys. Donkeys simply show the consequences faster because their metabolism is so efficient.If grazing is unmanaged, the donkey is usually the first to suffer. They gain weight rapidly, develop fat pads, and can slip into laminitis with very little warning. But that does not mean they are more difficult. It means the environment is UNBALANCED for equines.

A well-managed pasture situation changes everything. Track systems are a great example. A track encourages movement and controls pasture intake without limiting freedom, so the shared diet can be based on low-sugar forage such as mature hay. That foundation is donkey safe and also far healthier for horses too. From there, individual needs can be topped up separately, like giving a working horse extra hay or feed in another area, without turning the whole paddock into a high sugar-free for all. Mixed herds can absolutely work, but only when the pasture is managed for everyone.

At Natural Horse NZ, we run a mixed herd of horses, minis, and donkeys. It works well because the pasture-and-companionship setup is intentionally built to suit the whole team. I often see donkeys being bought as a cheaper, lower-maintenance companion for a horse. And to be clear, that can work really well. But it only works properly when people are mindful of the differences between the two and set the paddock and feeding plan up to suit them both. If we just drop a donkey in with a horse and hope for the best, we risk creating a situation where one of them is lonely, overfed, or stressed. When we plan it well, though, it can be a genuinely successful mixed herd.

Even when the management is right, the social needs still matter. A donkey still needs another donkey. A horse still needs another horse. Cross species friendships are a bonus, but they do not replace same species bonding. When each animal has true companionship from their own kind, and the grass and feeding setup is built to suit the whole herd, donkeys and horses can live together safely and happily without anyone being a social or nutritional afterthought.

Donkey social bonds are deep and separation can be traumatic

When a donkey loses a bonded partner, the grief is real. They may stop eating, call endlessly, or shut down. In some cases, they can become physically ill from stress. This is another reason keeping at least two matters. If one passes away, the remaining donkey is not suddenly alone in the world.

If a companion is lost, introducing another donkey should be done thoughtfully, but it should not be delayed for too long. Loneliness after loss compounds grief.

What donkeys really need to thrive

Donkeys do not need complicated lives. They need donkey appropriate lives. That means:

1. Another donkey or two as true companions

2. Safe shelter from wind, rain, and sun

3. Low sugar forage and managed grazing for the whole herd

4. Regular hoof and dental care

5. Gentle, consistent handling that honours their cautious nature

6. Space to roam, roll, browse, and socialise

When these needs are met, donkeys are funny, affectionate, steady, and deeply enjoyable animals to share life with. They are not low-maintenance decorations. They are sensitive herd beings who deserve to live with their own kind.

A simple message to potential donkey owners

If you are thinking about bringing a donkey home, plan for two. Not later. Not “if they seem lonely.” From day one. A donkey with another donkey is a different animal. Calmer, brighter, safer, and more themselves.

And honestly, watching two donkeys bond and live their quiet, devoted donkey life together is one of the best parts of having them.

❤️🫏❤️🫏