"WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR HORSES?"

So, What Do You Do With Your Horses?

A contractor was out at our place this week and went onto ask me the dreaded question every horse owner has heard about a million times...

"SO WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR HORSES?"

My inner voice groaned.

Not that again.

Now maybe it's just me, but I've always found that a funny question.

Nobody walks up to someone with a Labrador and says, "Interesting dog. What's his occupation?"

Nobody points at a cat and asks, "What's her role within the organisation?"

Yet horses seem to be expected to arrive with a CV, references and a five year career plan.

My outer voice, however, couldn't help answering in the most ridiculous way possible.

"Oh, they are mostly involved with glacier surveying and low altitude submarine recovery."

The contractor looked at me and blinked.

I blinked back.

So, I continued.

"The draft horses do most of the heavy lifting. They wear pink tutus while they work because health and safety says they have to be visible from the air."

More blinking.

"The donkeys coordinate air traffic between New Zealand and the Moon."

Even more blinking.

"The Shetland and Falabella are astronauts. Apparently, their smaller size makes them easier to launch."

At this point, I could almost hear the gears turning.

So, I kept going.

"The Arab handles intelligence operations. Most of his work is classified."

Dead silence.

I managed to keep a straight face for a few more seconds.

Then I completely lost it.

The contractor looked at me.

I looked at him.

Then he started laughing too when he realised I was pulling his leg.

In all seriousness, though, maybe it's just me, but I've always found that question a bit funny.

Of course, people do all sorts of things with their horses. We ride them, drive them, jump them, train them, groom them, take them on adventures, compete with them and spend time with them. But at the end of the day, I suspect most horse owners are doing exactly the same thing people do with any animal they love.

They're simply enjoying their company.

Although if anyone does need glacier surveying done, I know some highly qualified draft horses in pink tutus.

So now I'm curious...

What's the most ridiculous answer you've ever given when someone asked:

"SO WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR HORSES?